every tab I have open
141 safari tabs and a dream
I have just made a troubling realization.
On my laptop, I am a control freak. I have no more than 10 tabs open at any time, and if I do have 10, that is a foolproof indicator I’m in the middle of writing a Substack post. I keep my files organized and delete my entire downloads folder often. My body is not my temple (I ate cake three separate times yesterday), because that sounds boring, but my laptop is.
My phone is the opposite. I hate being on it, and have recently undergone the humiliation ritual that is paying for an object to keep me off of my own device. (Shoutout Brick.) At this point, most of my phone use is picking it up, opening a new Safari tab, googling something, and throwing my phone back down on the nearest soft-adjacent piece of furniture.
A mis-tap has recently brought me to the “All Tabs” window, in which I have seen I have over 400 of them.
Let’s take a journey through them together.
John Steinbeck house: I was reading Travels with Charley and suddenly needed to know what his house looked like. Is this relatable?
Quentin Tarantino going at Paul Dano: What was that about?
my year in books 2025: I opened this reading recap tool but never actually completed the process. Maybe someday!
Zena Cardman: An American astronaut I only know about from a dating TikTok.
Madalie mini dress: I’m here to deinfluence you: I got obsessed with this $229 dress to wear to my wedding welcome drinks. When I bought it it looked weird, and I returned it and wore something I already owned. Feeling powerful.
shy girl Mia Ballard: I needed the tea before Marcus wrote a perfect synopsis.
yen to dollars: This alone tells you my mindset on my honeymoon.
John Kennedy Toole wikipedia: I read A Confederacy of Dunces but this may have been more interesting.
hamachi type of fish: Got divided at a dinner I went to on whether hamachi was a specific fish or just a term for “you can eat this guy raw with vinaigrette for $18.”
Master of the Female Half-Lengths wikipedia: An incredible title for an unknown painter or group of painters who rocked at depicting rich girls at a specific distance.
Notname wikipedia: Had to feed my newfound addiction for the made-up means of referencing artists who’ve been forgotten.
Mitzi Akaha: Looking for more info after really enjoying her Substack.
substitutes for swiss cheese: Bleh.
Kanopy: Get your 20th streaming login! This one free from your library.
