bookish hot takes
15 popular books I abhor and what to read instead
Two things about me that are equally true:
I love reading the book that everyone’s reading, and
I am spiritually inclined to hate the book everyone’s reading.
I have mostly accepted that I have my own weird reading taste that only I can predict, and even that is only some of the time, but…I want to be one of the cool kids.
So sometimes I can’t fight the urge to join a trend.
Here are some of the books I have failed to resist, and definitely should have, and what you should read instead.
The Night Circus is a letdown.
It’s not bad, and it’s not that good. The setting is incredible and the writing is often really pretty (when not abjectly overwritten), but…
Holy moley.
That instalove.
If you’ve never had a problem with that trope, you should test your strength against this. Because every moment of two people extolling their soulmate status takes away a scene spent eating autumnal junk food at a magic fair.
Read more on Goodreads
The Starless Sea exceeded my expectations.
The fact that this is the lower rated, less read of the Morgenstern releases boggles my mind and shatters my global understanding every day.
This is like The Night Circus, but twice as long (all the better for more beautiful passages), set in a BOOKISH land for READERS, and armed with a plot that won’t make you roll your eyes until you pass out.
In other words it’s a favorite of mine.
Read more on Goodreads
The House in the Cerulean Sea is corny.
When it comes to books in which Some Loser’s Life Is Exponentially Improved And Every Former Problem Ever Experienced Is Solved By A Magical And Therefore Fictional Entity, there’s a difference to be split. If all of the issues are cast away by something so fantastical as to be absurd, it makes life even more depressing.
This doesn’t split the difference so much as throw the difference into the titular vibrant ocean. (That would constitute “in” the sea, by the way. I fail to see how a house isn’t “on” it.)
I also don’t like the repetitive saccharine dialogue, or the lack of plot or character development, or the horrific inspiration it stems from. Actually I don’t think I like anything about it.
Read more on Goodreads
The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches is better balanced.
This is still a bit corny, but it works for me. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of corn. That’s the theory behind cornbread and the best part of Chipotle bowls.
There is a bit more romance thrown in there than I typically like, but this is sweet and fun and I like the world. Sure, everyone’s a witch, but they have to make their own lives better. Which makes the fact that I am not a witch a little less hurtful.
Read more on Goodreads
The Time Traveler’s Wife is so creepy.
There’s probably not enough out-of-time star-crossed romance in the world to make me forget that most of this is a romance between an adult man and a child.
But even if there were, this would not hit the mark. These people never actually choose each other, due to the concept of Time. Then once they’re married they hate each other, due to the concept of Time Travel. Then once they’re not married they have a shell of an existence anyway, due to the concept of Tragedy.
I hate this book so much.
Read more about this on Goodreads
The Seven Year Slip is swoony.
This is also a time travel-based story in which big emotions are experienced and a grand love affair is conducted, but I have no moral qualms with it and children are not involved. Also there’s a lot of nice food and interior design descriptions.
It’s lighter fare and that’s a good thing.
Read more about this on Goodreads
The Atlas Six is boring.
And it’s not dark academia! Which is why I read it in the first place.
I can appreciate, and often even prefer, a “no plot just vibes” kind of read. Character-driven is my preferred storyline. But 99% of this book is just different duos having conversations. Just dialogue between various twosomes among the six.
I have since retired from reading this author, because after reading several of her releases the generous term is “not for me.”
Read more on Goodreads
Ninth House is everything that claims to be.
Now THIS is violence in the name of nightmarish knowledge…! This is dark academia! If only because it’s dark and takes place on an Ivy League campus!
I love this book so much and will continue to be pretending it’s a beautiful one-off until further notice. Like The Haunting of Hill House (series, but also book really) or what Stranger Things should have been.
Read more on Goodreads
Nightbitch is all talk. Or I guess barking? Whatever.
Okay, a woman turns into a dog. Got it. What else?
There is nothing else. This is a notable absence in my various “books about women going insane” and “books about women ruining their lives” list, because while my favorites in the genre are rich and complex and resonant, this is silly and flat.
It’s a pretty obvious metaphor that is then outright explained in the final pages.
Read more on Goodreads
Freshwater is slower and more serious.
Many of Akwaeke Emezi’s releases have not worked for me for the exact reasons Nightbitch didn’t — over the top and shallow at the same time. But her debut is the opposite.
This is magical realism about being a haunted woman, using the fairly obvious figurative language of demonic possession, but it takes itself and the reader more seriously. You have to work this one out for yourself.
Read more on Goodreads
The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue should’ve stayed invisible.
All I want to say about this is that if I made a deal with the devil in which I got to escape my boring fate feminist-ly, remaining unmarried and getting to live forever with just the small catch that people don’t remember me, I wouldn’t complain so damn much.
That’s just a different kind of boring fate.
Anyway, I did all my other ranting here:
Read more on Goodreads
Sea of Tranquility is actually what Addie claims to be.
This is powerful. This is beautifully written. This has something interesting to say about time as a concept.
As the title implies, while just thinking about Addie Stupid LaRue is enough to get me irritated, this brings me calm. And a lot of interesting thoughts about the simulation theory.
None of my Addie thoughts are interesting. Angry, but not interesting.
Read more on Goodreads
The Bell Jar has more to do with the author’s story than its own.
One of my most controversial opinions in this life is that the reason The Bell Jar has become a classic is not through its own merit, but the macabre obsession with Sylvia Plath, her mythos, and her end.
Also, this is like wildly racist.
It was not written that long ago.
Read more on Goodreads
Girl, Interrupted deserves what The Bell Jar has.
It’s also an autobiographical look at a girl in a mental institution from the 1960s, but it’s less racist, and less mean, and more compelling.
Maybe the Angelina Jolie movie will help it to stand the test of time in the way it deserves. (I’ve never seen the Angelina Jolie movie.)
Read more on Goodreads
